Do Marriage Counselors Ever Recommend Divorce?

June 27, 2021

Do Marriage Counselors Ever Recommend Divorce?

Marriage counseling is one of the most effective options for many married couples who experience hardships. However, there are very few couples that really know what to expect during the process. For instance, some couples may go to marriage counseling expecting the therapist to tell them exactly what they should do. This is a misconception that people have, though, as marriage counselors look after a couple’s goals and best interests to determine the best course of action. However, a marriage counselor will never recommend that a couple divorce. Instead, a therapist would recommend various ways for couples to work through their problems.

For more info and inquiries: Email: vrivera@wellnesspsychotherapistnyc.com Phone: (917) 495-3858  Contact Page: https://wellnesspsychotherapistnyc.com/contact/ 

My name is Victoria Rivera. As a New York City marriage counselor , it’s my job to focus on your marriage and your goals. It’s my duty to look out for your needs without bias. The only side that we are on is the one that helps you and your spouse reach a successful resolution to whatever problems you may be experiencing. If you are looking for someone to reaffirm your thoughts of divorce, you’ve come to the wrong place. Marriage counseling is not going to give you the justification to make decisions about your marriage. Rather, I’ll work to identify your goals and problems you may be having while working to find a reasonable solution with which you can be satisfied. 

What Is the Success Rate of Marriage Counseling?

Success is a subjective term because it means different things for different couples. While stats will show that marriage counseling is effective in 70 to 80 percent of cases, there are various factors that go into determining what makes it successful. For instance, a couple may go through couples therapy, and in the upcoming years, they find themselves in the same situation and divorced. Some make it through marriage counseling and stay together for the rest of their lives. Success, however, is what you make of it. 

If you are considering divorce and find yourself here on my website, you’ve taken the first step towards success. You have admitted to yourself that there’s a problem, and instead of making divorce the first priority, you sought help. With that in mind, it’s important to remember small successes along the way. When you and your spouse go through marriage counseling, remember that it’s not something that happens overnight. Even more, it will only work as much as you and your spouse want it to. Your success will depend on you and your spouse being vulnerable and willing to make things work.

What Shouldn’t I Say In Marriage Counseling?

If you’re expecting to hear everything you want to hear from your marriage counselor, you’ll be in for a surprise. In fact, there are some things that your counselor won’t tell you about your relationship. Every relationship is different, so you can’t expect them to give the same exact advice that someone else received or that you should divorce or stay together. Similarly, it’s crucial to ensure you are not saying certain things or speaking in a specific way in marriage counseling that can make things worse.  Most specifically, you and your spouse should avoid speaking to each other angrily and in a negative light. You can express your concerns about your relationship, but it should never come down to degrading comments or forcefully yelling at another.  Call my office today for a free phone consultation, and I’ll help you understand your options.

How Long Does Marriage Counseling Last Before a Divorce?

Divorcing your spouse is hardly ever an easy decision, and you should never make it until you are completely sure it is what you and your spouse want to do. As such, giving marriage counseling a good amount of time to work for your situation is critical. The decisions you make should never be made in haste. Because of this, marriage counseling sessions — on average — take about 12 – 16 sessions (for the good or the bad). While every couple varies, it usually takes a good number of sessions for couples to work through their issues. If after so many sessions you and your spouse feel there are irreconcilable differences, divorce may be the best option. Just make sure you’re ready to make that decision.

Can Counseling Really Save a Marriage?

The shortest answer to this is, yes. Marriage counseling can save a marriage.  Think about this: what makes marriage counseling so successful? Of course, you want to choose a marriage counselor who is focused on your goals and needs, but most importantly, you should make sure that you are open and willing to take the necessary steps to save your marriage. You should remain focused on the different things that can fix your marriage. If you go into the situation with a closed mind and you’re constantly finding ways to focus on your own individual wants, then unfortunately, it will be much more difficult to save your marriage. Call my office today for a free phone consultation, and I’ll help you understand your options. Can Therapy Hurt Your Marriage? In this situation, I think the term “hurt” doesn’t fit. Some people blame couples therapists and marriage counselors for discovering problems within their marriage, but it is not something that is meant to hurt the marriage. The questions we ask and activities we use are designed to uncover the reasons you and your spouse are currently having problems and identify ways to fix them. There’s nothing malicious about marriage counseling.  Marriage counseling can end in divorce, but only if it’s what is best for the couple. If you and your spouse cannot find ways to save your marriage, it is okay. Finding what’s best for you is the best way to move forward, whether or not your spouse is with you for life. Should I Go To Counseling or Get a Divorce? This is something that only you can answer. If you already have thoughts of divorce, it’s for a reason, and only you can truly understand your reasoning. However, there are a few things that you should consider when it’s time to decide whether you should get counseling or get a divorce:

Carewashing

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Battle of the Thermostat

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