If you are looking for a New York City marriage counselor , odds are there’s something going on in your marriage and you want to repair it. Looking for counseling is a good sign, especially because it indicates a willingness to fix what you may feel is broken. Keep in mind, though, there are several ways that you and your spouse can work on your marriage. Some, unfortunately, can lead to a bit more contention, especially if you and your spouse are being honest in your therapy sessions. It’s vital to keep mindfulness in mind throughout the process, and this is just one way that you can cool down and work towards a successful solution. 

Mindfulness can be very helpful in any situation, but it’s particularly helpful in calming down couples in contentious therapy. Mindfulness starts early, though, so it’s crucial to have someone on your side who can help you focus on your therapy. First, know that mindfulness can help regulate emotions throughout therapy and they don’t take things nearly as personal. Second, mindfulness allows you and your therapy to empathize with each others’ feelings clearer. Below, we’ll provide you some tips to build a mindful marriage or relationship, explain the benefits, and give you tips to help you in your marriage. 

It’s vital to start early when building a mindful relationship. Typically, ego is one of the biggest detriments to a mindful relationship. If one person in the marriage has an ego, it can be significantly problematic. However, if you put mindfulness first, you can help your situation. Here are four key ways you can practice mindfulness to help keep your relationship strong from day one: 

If you’re going through therapy, remember these four things. It can easily help you and your significant calm down in a contentious situation. When you start accepting each other instead of passing judgment, it can make your marriage counseling experience much more enjoyable.  Call my office today for a free phone consultation, and I’ll help you understand your options.

Mindfulness only works in a relationship when both parties exhibit it. When both of you are mindful, you can build a greater focus on each other and stay calm. Of course, this is the perfect mindset to have during the marriage, but it’s something that can help if you go through couples therapy. The ability to stay calm is especially helpful in marriage counseling because you can really listen to each other and understand your significant other.  Keep in mind, in marriage counseling, it’s easy to feel that your spouse is attacking part of who you are. Don’t look at it as complaining or talking negatively about you, though. Instead, consider it constructive criticism regarding how you can be better. Being better doesn’t require you to be a different person or change. It requires you putting in more of an effort to really listen to your significant other.  Putting mindfulness at the forefront of your couples therapy can help shape how you get through your sessions.  Are There Negatives of Mindfulness? Not everyone will consider mindfulness a negative. However, the biggest issue that many people have with mindfulness is that it can take a lot of work. Not everyone is willing to put in the work that it takes to remain mindful and put each other on a higher level. If someone is not willing to work on their relationship, it’s already a difficult battle uphill to save your marriage.  It’s difficult for some to remain aware in a relationship, and mindfulness is not always a good fix for them.  Call my office today for a free phone consultation, and I’ll help you understand your options. What Are the Three Components of Mindfulness? When you think of mindfulness, especially in potentially contentious situations like couples therapy, some people are unsure how it may work. Whenever working with mindfulness in mind, there are three very important components to keep in mind:

It’s not enough to just know these components, you must also know when they’re most effective and how to utilize them.  Awareness. This comes into play all throughout your marriage and counseling. It’s not just about hearing what your significant other has to say. It’s about really understanding everything that they say and paying close attention to what your significant other feels. Pay attention because you want to.  Nonjudgmental. Have you ever made a list of things you feel are “good” or “bad” about your significant other or their behavior? This is essentially passing judgment. Part of mindfulness is removing judgment from the relationship. When you go through therapy, it helps to see things how they are instead of trying to designate them as good or bad. Nonreactive. One of the biggest problems you can encounter in a relationship is to react automatically. Reactions are often made haste and it’s not necessarily helpful. Reactive nature can cause more problems and fights, especially in therapy.  When your spouse says something about you, it’s easy to want to react. Mindfulness means controlling your reactions.  10 Ways to Be More Mindful In Your Marriage Don’t wait until it’s too late to bring mindfulness into your marriage. One part of therapy can include improving mindfulness and helping you and your spouse moving forward. If it’s something you and your spouse feel it’s good to try, here are 10 ways that you and your spouse can be more mindful in your marriage: